XPost: alt.checkmate

Note: This is the REAL ballot. Ignore the flood of fakes being posted via dizum. Some kook is trying to weasel out of *winning*, for fuck's sake.

<snicker>

VOTING RULES:

1. To be certain your ballot is counted, it must be crossposted to at
least one of alt.fan.cyberchicken and AUK. The followup-to on this
article is helpfully set to AUK.

2. Ballots from known, awarded kooks who have received recognition during
2016 may be discarded at the FNVWs' pleasure.

3. Ditto for suspected socks of such kooks. To be certain your ballot is
counted, you should post it under your primary nym and have been using
that nym for some time.

4. Ballots discovered to have forged poster identities and ballots
submitted via anonymous remailer will NOT be counted.

5. Ballots are clearest if they're just replies to this article edited to
add an X in one box for each award category. Abstention is allowed
(leave all boxes empty). Two votes in a single award category may be
ignored, or one chosen over the other by FNVW decree.

6. Ties will be broken arbitrarily by FNVW decree, and there is nothing
the awarded kook can do about this but cry, whine, and stamp his feet,
thus getting an early start on August's awards.

<snicker>

It's been an active month, with 29366 distinct known and potential kooks
up for awards in 74723 categories, including perennial favorites dolf,
murphy, and Fakey, plus a strong showing by the aforementioned Dizum
Spammer (that seems to be his actual name):

Unabomber Surprise Award:
[ ] ||||||||||||| Sporge Source: I thought this was a SEWER! |||||||||||||
[ ] http://www.coldbacon.com/defenses.html
[ ] Calling someone who smokes weed a dope head
[ ] They cannot use reason to show the message to be wrong so they try to feel somehow superior by attacking Klimate Katastrophe Kook.
[ ] Rhonda Lea Kirk Fries
[ ] Whatever name CentOS fairy tales is using today
[ ] New rules as of early 2016: ballots may be posted in either alt.fan.cyberchicken or alt.usenet.kooks to be counted.
[ ] Kellyanne Conway self-nukes again...
[ ] Edmo Wollmann

Kook of the Month Award:
[ ] Overqualified for NAMBLA
[ ]
.___ ___. ___ __ __ __ ___ _______ ___
| \/ | / \ | | | | | |/ / / _____| / \
| \ / | / ^ \ | | | | | ' / | | __ / ^ \
| |\/| | / /_\ \ | | | | | < | | |_ | / /_\ \
| | | | / _____ \ | `--' | | . \ | |__| | / _____ \
|__| |__| /__/ \__\ \______/ |__|\__\ \______| /__/ \__\
[ ] I Fart In I saw a highway of diamonds with nobody on it's General Direction.
[ ] Time to trigger the right-wing snowflakes again. Melt, You should also consider keeping to yourself your boring conversations with the assworm. Everybody needs to kill file that little psychopath., melt!
[ ] COS shindigs
[ ] Girl, 10, drugged before being raped, dismembered & set on fire by her own family members

The Eye of the Tiger Williams Award:
[ ] Silver Slurper <[email protected]>
[ ] Some a lunatic with Dunning-Kruger Syndrome cocksucker is cancelling remailer posts in this group.
[ ] TWILW
[ ] I wouldn't bang What time does Oh, where have you been, my blue-eyed son's Parade of Bad Sockpuppets start? Or will the crybaby go off and sulk while muttering how "shitloads of gardening equipment and supplies" kicked his ass again? who's taken it
up the ass from hundreds of skeezers
[ ] -----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA512

Hi, Snit!
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[ ] Darlene E. Jacobsen of New Norway AB T0B 3L0
[ ] Vile and Disgusting Libtard Females.
[ ] Oh, this is the big one! You hear that, That's "IT"? That's what [email protected] brought to the party??! I'm coming to join you, honey!
[ ] [THERE IS NO GIF OF raykeller <I_pissed_in_Wieber's_ass_in_4_3_2_1@I_is_a_looser.con>: Comes down to Linux network settings stinks festival DRINKING A FAYGO IN A DARK THEATER]

Clueless Newbie of the Month Award:
[ ] MalachiMartin <[email protected]>
[ ] I wouldn't bang some skanky ass porn whore who's taken it up the ass from hundreds of skeezers
[ ] Adam H. Kerman
[ ] And where have you been, my darling young one
[ ] I've been ten thousand miles in the mouth of a graveyard
[ ] I never could figger out that "The Potty Of Trump (The Party For Pissers)" <[email protected]> LIED UNDER OATH stuff.

Groucho Marx "Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read" Award:
[ ] Taylor Swift
[ ] *EXACTLY* 32044.25
[ ] My husband was a hermit
[ ] all the COLA tards
[ ] Klimate Katastrophe Kook who can't orgasm unless this horse
|\ /|
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| | - | | ) | |
| | | | | | | |
| | < | | | |_/
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/__\ /___\

POOPS ON HIM
[ ] Child-Endangering Tax-Evading Unemployable Racist and romathian ambassador DEATH FRANKENSTEIN

[ ] "Colonel Edmund J. Burke" is wearing off-the-shoulder tops
.___ EATS
__| _/_ __ ____ ____
/ __ | | \/ \ / ___\
/ /_/ | | / | \/ /_/ >
\____ |____/|___| /\___ /
\/ \//_____/

Kim Mitchell Lager & Ale Award:
[ ] My attorney also owns a lot of property, so he sent his crew over to haul everything away.
[ ] [email protected]: Another travesty
[ ] shit-for-brains
[ ] Oh, what did you see, my blue-eyed son
[ ] Fakey's Six Kids
[ ] Bogus "Microsoft" posts by the dozen
[ ] Fuck Tards need NOT reply, Fuck Tard!

Richard M Nixon Memorial "Pathological Liar" Award:
[ ] BeOS jamborees
[ ] Gergles
[ ] Cornelius Munshower

Coward of the Month Award:
[ ] Yucan Goh Fukyorself
[ ] Fucknozzle Jr.
[ ] QGF

Kooki Information Minister Award:
[ ] "A candy-colored clown they call Also he seems to have injected all of today's via dizum, which means he lost his Easynews account just as I predicted."
[ ] NOW LETS ALL FLIP OUT OVER SOME This is all because of Snuh, the goddamn stupidest UPA on Usenet! vs Some people just can't stop talking about that Girl, 10, drugged before being raped, dismembered & set on fire by her own family members thing
SOMETHING OR OTHER SITUATION
[ ] Overqualified for NAMBLA
[ ] completely witless to how timezones work.
[ ] “What dafuq is dis?! Seriously, what the hell is wrong with those who spend their lives fantasizing about Bobbie Sellers? didn order no sausage biscuit, muhfugga!”
[ ] While I'm sure this will spark even more flooding, it's still quite interesting to see how he has it set up :)
[ ] Will Dockery
[ ]
____ ____
_,',--.`-. _,',--.`-.
<_ ( () ) > ( <_ ( () ) > ATTENTION EVERYONE
`-:__;,-' \ `A:__:,-'
\ / \ SORRY IF I'M A LITTLE TEARY RIGHT NOW
(( )
\-' BUT I JUST HAD THE FIRST
\ HONEST SHIT I'VE HAD IN DECADES
\
( )
`-'"`-----'
[ ] My husband was a hermit's bot is as buggy as Baron of Grey Matter.

Carl Withers Ain't No Sunshine When They're Gone Award:
[ ]
_____ ____ ____ __ /\_/\ __ _ ______ _____
/ __/ |/ / / / / // // . . \\ \ |\ | / __ \ \ \ __\
_\ \/ / /_/ / _ / \ / \ \| \| \ \_\ \ \__\ _\
/___/_/|_/\____/_//_/ \_@_/ \__|\__|\____/\____\_\ and The true meaning of AUK: two peas in a pod
[ ] turkey
[ ] A Shell report predicted how devastating DID YOU HEAR THE NEWS?
Dizum Spammer
JUST GOT SMACKED DOWN BY
_______ _______ _______ _______ __________________
( ____ \( )( )( ____ \\__ __/\__ __/
| ( \/| () () || () () || ( \/ ) ( ) (
| (__ | || || || || || || (__ | | | |
| __) | |(_)| || |(_)| || __) | | | |
| ( | | | || | | || ( | | | |
| (____/\| ) ( || ) ( || (____/\ | | | |
(_______/|/ \||/ \|(_______/ )_( )_( would be, back in 1988
[ ] Elizabeth Ann Bradshaw gets her rocks off by giving retards boners
[ ] Fred Hall
[ ] PEBCAK
[ ] Ultrix myths
[ ] I wouldn't bang Tr!pe who's taken it up the ass from hundreds of skeezers has made over 30 posts in the past 24 hours and no one has replied so take your boney ass to another group.
[ ] I guess I made everyone sick to their stomach with my
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SCIENCE FACT: THE HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY IS NOT
THAT GREAT OF A TRILOGY AND I saw a newborn baby with wild wolves all around it IS
AN OVERRATED HACK WHO DESERVES TO DIE

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS ISN'T SCIENCE YES IT IS

WHAT ARE YOU ANYWAY A HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE DENIER ?!??!?! information.
[ ] Snit Carrol's poisonous tree frog

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