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https://babylonbee.com/news/new-debate-rule-allows-moderators-to-zap-trump-with-giant-cattle-prod-anytime-they-feel-like-it
New Debate Rule Allows Moderators To Zap Trump With Giant Cattle Prods
Anytime They Feel Like It
POLITICS
·
Jun 18, 2024 · BabylonBee.com
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U.S. — A newly established presidential debate rule will allow the two moderators to zap former president Donald Trump with a giant electric
cattle prod anytime the mood strikes.
CNN has granted moderators Dana Bash and Jake Tapper the freedom to
electrocute Trump at will throughout the event. "We believe it will be
the best way to ensure Trump stays on topic and doesn't wander off into
talking points that might make Joe Biden look incompetent," CNN producer
Mike Lander said. "Not that we're biased against the former president or anything. But we definitely don't want to let Trump get away with
persuading anyone to vote for him. If he does, zappy zappy!"
Debate organizers believe the electric cattle prod will ensure a fair
and balanced discussion on the most pressing issues of the campaign
trail. "I'm not at all excited to charge the former president with
10,000 volts of pure electricity anytime I feel the urge," Bash told
members of the media. "I promise I am in no way fantasizing about it
every second of every day."
At publishing time, organizers also granted the moderators use of the
cattle prod if they saw President Biden start to drift off in one of his "power-up" moments.
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