And we're back in the past and can check the eyrie archive
once again.
And here's where you can find Electrocutioner's Song as well as other
LNH Crossovers:
https://archives.eyrie.org/racc/lnh/Crossovers/
And its the final parts of -- The Electrocutioner's Song!
The Writers for this Crossover were:
Jef "The KaTeFan(tm)" Kolodziej
Todd "Scavenger" Kogutt
Dave "Dvandom" Van Domelen
and Raymond "wReam" Bingham
First Off we have Ultimate Ninja #3 by Raymond "wReam" Bingham
(Part Eleven)! Is it time for wReam to finally be edited by
Dvandom?! Is it time for the Ultimate Ninja accept that the
Z-Team aren't bad dudes?! And is it time for Sig.Lad to hang
for dear life and have spastic convulsions?!!
And Finally we have CRISIS OF INFINITE CLONES #3 by Dave "Dvandom"
Van Domelen (Part Twelve)! Will Sig.Lad have time to have a flash
back before he has his big battle with Acton Lord?! And is the
Keyboard indeed mightier than the sword?!! (I mean wouldn't want to
fight some guy who had sword with a keyboard -- but that's just me.)
Anyways, find out in...
_
| | Classic
| | =
| | ____ ____ _ ____ ___
| |__ | [] | | [] | | | | [] | | _ \
|____| \__] \__ | |_| \__/ |_|\_\
||
|_| OF NET.HEROES
ADVENTURES #283
=====================
Electrocutioner's Song The Conclusion
=====================
Electrocutioner's Song #11
"Deep and Special moments on the way to battle..."
by wReam...
edited by dvandom
* ** * ** * ** * ** * ** * ** * ** * ** * ** * ** *
************************************************************************
* * in the NonSense Fyles! *
* * *
* KID / * Ahhhh. Kid Anarky... You must think you have *
* ____/ |_ * something to do with this story, BUT YOU DON'T!*
* / / | \ * You're .sig looked like a trading card and *
* ___|_/_____|__|___ * since the comic was behind schedule you get the*
* / | | * Honor of being in this one! Feel the honor *
* / \______|_/ * and grovel at the gates of serendipity... *
*/ |NARKY! * (LNH 1992 (c) (well sortof)) * ************************************************************************
Due to the lack of character development in this series, and the incredible gaps in continuity from the different writers, this writer has chosen to take the next 100 pages and develop each character. To delve into their deepest darkest fears and there most intimate feelings. To show that the LNH is just not some menace fighting machine, destined to fight this and that forever. For if all we do is fight, well then Ultimate Ninja will most definitely be the most powerful of all the LNHers, cuz that is what Ninjas do best, at least in the comics and cheesy movies...
Our scene opens as Lurking Girl has moved out onto the bridge of the flying thingy overlooking space. A shooting star goes by, but Lurking Girl is too enrapted in deep contemplation to even notice its splendor.
'Reb has been keeping something from me,' She thought sullenly. 'I don't know how long I can continue this LNH life if I can't even trust my closest friend.' Lurking Girl gazed out of the vehicle and a single tear is seen streaming down her face. It glistened in the light of the ever-nearing moon. She just let it run down her cheek, the air cooling it until it evaporated.
"Luri?" Rebel Yell entered the chamber with a question.
Lurking Girl quickly tried to wipe the tears away as she slowly turned to face Rebel Yell. "Yes, Reb?"
"Have you been crying? Is there something wrong?" Rebel Yell asked.
'Of course I have you big dope! And gee, like you wouldn't be able to guess that there was something wrong! You idiot! Its you!' Lurking Girl thought in her head but only responded with, "Oh, I was a bit overwhelmed by the scenery."
"It is quite amazing. Almost looks like a painting!" 'You dope! That
is because this is a comic book! Of course it looks like a painting!' Rebel Yell mentally kicked himself. Something else was wrong but whenever he got around Luri he would freeze up and all that came out was small talk. "Well I just wondered, because you have been sort of distant lately." Rebel Yell then retreated. That was as close to his true feelings as he was going to get and he mentally flogged himself all the way down the hall to the transport quarters of the great troop transport flying thingy.
In another part of the ship Ultimate Ninja was flogging himself. 'Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. How could I be so dumb?' The Z-team encounter had proven to the master of oriental mysticism that he was not as invulnerable as he had believed. He had really botched that encounter. 'The Z-Team really aren't even bad dudes, a bit maverick and misguided but no more than I am,' Ultimate Ninja thought to himself.
'I must not let this bog me down,' Ultimate Ninja determined. 'We are headed to the moon to stop Acton Lord once and for all. He has become too powerful and well, someone has got to stop him.' Ultimate Ninja began to think of all the battles he had had with Acton Lord. This time would be different. Each time he had been out smarted, but this time UN was going to try something Ninjas rarely showed in comics and cheesy shows... He was determined to use his brains!
"So how did MT-M discover where Acton Lord's new hideout was?" Parking Karma Kid said to BandWagon Chick.
"Oh he didn't. It was that new chick, ummm... Miss Multitask.
Aparently that is where MT-M Transmatted her from. She then told him of Acton Lord's deceptive plan." BandWagon Chick then frowned. "It's too bad he sent Taskani back to the future. There just aren't enough women on the LNH."
"Yeah!" Parking Karma Kid smiled greedily. BandWagon Chick slugged
him one in the arm. The entire transport vehicle lurched in space. A chorus of "Whoa!"s could be heard from the internal areas of the vehicle.
"You know it is taking a lot longer to get to the moon then usual." Parking Karma Kid observed. "Yeah, I think it is because the writer is trying for more character development."
Parking Karma Kid nodded his head. "Yeah, well, we aren't just fighting machines, right?"
* * * * *
wReamed Acton Lord brooded at the past. Something awfully weird was in the air. Maybe it was the effects of Bambi's drugs. Somthing bad is going to happen soon, he could just tell. Gee, and Bambi seemed so real. wRAL pouted sadly. He could never get relationships to work out.
"Ummmm. There is a big troop ship coming in close," Girl Next Door
(tm) reported.
'Perhaps a relationship with her? Nah, relationships never work out
with the Girl Next Door (tm),' thought Acton Lord. 'I had best get ready for the assault. Life stinks. I hate this life.'
Then a thought popped into his head. 'What the heck is Prime Clone Acton Lord doing? I mean this is my manor and that was my stuff back there and Dang it all! He was using it for something!'
"I gotta go check on something." wRAL told GND(tm). She just smirked
as he walked away. 'He's probably afraid! Well the NLF doesn't need him anyway!'
* * * * *
Meanwhile in LNHospital the hero Sig.Lad was hanging on for dear life.
He was going into spastic convulsions and all the heroes that looked on could do is look on with helplessness. RosterwReam and MT-M tried to hold him down but he was so unstable that there was little hope.
"We're losing him, aren't we?" RosterwReam said in a panic to Dr. Stomper.
"Yeah, and I have never encountered this type of ailment." Dr. Stomper tried to act professional but he had no idea what to do. "And with Sig.Lad's already unstable genetic nature, saving him is already a lost cause."
"WHAT ABOUT THE SPAGHETTI-O'S?" asked PLOT-KING.
"They only tend to make him more mutable anymore." Dr. Stomper said grimly.
"Well I refuse to believe there isn't a way to save him!" RosterwReam
ran from the room in a tantrum of emotion. He had to stay here and look over the wounded, when he should be doing something to help! He didn't want to do the Roster, but List Lad INSISTED! It was too much. RosterwReam ran to the main computer room. MultiTask Man had been over the calculations time and time again, but maybe something was missing. RosterwReam looked at the Roster he had put on disk and pouted. It is too large. Maybe one less member won't hurt. He thought. How can I think that! RosterwReam looked at the names.
Hey! Contraption Man is back on the Roster? I thought he returned to
the future... Maybe he knows the answer! He is from the future! They tend to know more.
Another pulse of the GUI transfer display blitted across the computer screen. What is that uplink to DrizztSat doing? RosterwReam noticed, but then it was gone and RwR had to think of how to get Contraption Man back.
He scanned the control panel for MT-M's time-transmatter and locked on
to Contraption Man's beam input code. Then turning the time allotment switch to a few weeks he pushed the engage button. The room filled with a crackling blue light and in the center an light grey image began to form. It was a very confused Contraption Man.
"Hey! RosterwReam! I thought you would be calling me back soon." Contraption Man smiled. "I wrote my name on the roster so that you would summon me if you had figured out how to keep me alive in this dimension. Now I come to find out, after reading the rest of LNH ES #10 that it was all a lie made by MT-M to get rid of me! Can you believe the gall of that guy! I bet HE'S the traitor!"
"So can you help us fix Sig.Lad?" RosterwReam asked with large hopeful eyes. "There must be something we can do..."
"Oh there is, but we must hurry!" Contraption Man ran to comlink and
hit the activate switch. "Dr. Stomper? MT-M?..."
"Contraption Man? Is that you!?" MT-M said in a somewhat guilty
voice.
"Yes. Now I can save Sig.Lad, but you must get him to the PerilRoom Immediately!" Contraption Man snapped the activation switch off and turned to RosterwReam. "You will never believe all the things going on in the future!" He said excitedly. "Taskani, Ms. Multitask, IS PREGNANT!" He said with a smile as he put his arm around RosterwReam as they hurried toward the PerilRoom.
"Well, I guess congratulations are in order," RosterwReam said in an unsure voice.
"NO!" Contraption Man smirked. "That's where it gets juicy! She
won't tell who the father is and no one knows!!!"
"Oh dear...what if..." RosterwReam began but it was simply too speculative. "...nah..."
* * * * *
List Lad looked over the droves of work he had to do. This whole crossover thing was a mess! Everything has been changing so fast.
'Perhaps I was too hard on RosterwReam, I mean it is only natural for
him to want to help,' List Lad thought. 'Nah. He'll get over it. Besides, I need to set an example.' List Lad paged through some of his old notes and smiled at his handywork. Then lifting an old stack of lists and paraphenalia off his desk he gasped in horror.
"No! It cannot be!" List Lad looked down at a comic book.
"Tantalizing Teens #1."
List Lad was convinced that there never was a team called the
Tantalizing Teens! But here was conclusive proof. Someone has been messing with the very fabric of reality!
'Either that or I am getting really senile.'
So what or who or is there a real SideKick Lad???
* * * * *
Obscure Trivia Lad, Cliche Dude, Typo Lad and Sig.File Man played cards and joked nervously among themselves. They knew a big battle was about to be played out and they had no fears, they were cool.
Sig.File Man still ran the thought through his head, 'What is wrong
with my memory? What have I been doing in the past!? What about the Tantalizing Teens.'
"AR u In or owt!?" Typo lad asked.
Sig.File Man looked at his cards and folded them to the table. "Out."
"What! You had a royal Flush!" Cheesecake Eater interrupted. "Are
you crazy!?"
"Oh...." Sig.File Man looked around and picked up his cards again.
"In."
"I fold," said Cliche Dude.
"Obscure Trivia Lad folds," said OTL.
"Aye Fuld," said Typo Lad.
"Ooops. Sorry." CheeseCake Eater Lad skulked back to where Occultism
Kid and Halls Jordan had started a game of Chess.
"Checkmate in three moves, Halls." CheeseCake Eater Lad started
again. "No not the knight! The rook!" Enough was enough, and Halls proceeded to escort CheeseCake-Eater Lad out of the room by the seat of his pants.
Parking Karma Kid smiled long. "Look! We're here!" he said excitedly pointing to the base. "And there is a perfect place to park the transport, right by the front door! By that group of Net.villains." The NLF was waiting by the front door.
BandWagon Chick turned on the intercom. "OK enough character development... It is time to kick some evil BUTT!! Prepare for battle!"
The heroes and villains of LNH and NLF clash in a nice splash page.
So begins the battle... Did I develop enough or did you want more?
"I am PYLON! Here me roar!" He yelled as he picked up a handy
boulder, and prepared to smash the entire LNH troop transport and all in it.
Occultism Kid and Typo Lad were the first to react to this menace. Occultism Kid did an animate shoes spell and PYLON's legs began to dance madly. Meanwhile Typo Lad turned Boulder into Shoulder and PYLON turned into a hunch back with a misporportioned shoulder the size of a boulder. Cheesecake Eater Lad squirted CheeseCake blasts under Pylon and he toppled over like a beetle that lands on its back and sprawled around on the ground trying to get back on his feet.
Ultimate Ninja made his way through the warring heroes and around the villains. His battle was not with these misguided fools, his was with Acton Lord and he was not going to waste time wearing himself out on this rabble.
Just as LNH was out and ready to attack, BandWagon Chick, Parking Karma Kid, Cliche Dude (in a dramatic pose of course), Typo Lad, Rebel Yell, OTL, Sif.File Man and Occultism Kid were frozen in their tracks. LAGNETO boasted!
"There! Now that I have caused them to LAG why don't you all pick them off!" LAGNETO strained. "Hurry you idiots! I can't save you all the time!"
All of a sudden Lagneto's eyes went pale. Lurking Girl towered over
him as he dropped to the ground squirming in pain as he moved in and out of disentegration phase. "Taste the totality of my Lurking Ability in your brain!"
Girl Next Door (tm) turned on Lurking Girl with claws and an wenchy
voice she screamed... "Oh you always get the men!!"
Rebel Yell blasted Girl Next Door through a wall. "DONT TOUCH HER!"
He blasted sonically.
Lurking Girl smiled, 'Perhaps there was hope for us yet. But this
is no place for character development,' she thought as she turned to RUSH_FAN.
"Rush is the best!" He blasted BandWagon Chick.
Just then from the skies came shots. As if the LNH even *needed* help, there were more helpers on the way. The Z-Team!
"It took a while to equip the Red Pickup with rockets or we would
have been here sooner," explained Trump.
Coach pounced on RUSH_FAN, shredding him instantly. "Mreeow."
"You KILLED HIM!?" Cliche Dude said blasting Pylon who had almost
managed to get up.
From the shredded mess came a voice, "I'm not dead! RUSH_FANs NEVER DIE..."
The entire group moaned in agreement. There is nothing more heinous
than a Rush fan.
"Oh Reb! Come here." Said a weird looking Typo Lad. Needless to say Mistake was taken out quickly. Firstly because only Lurking Girl calls Rebel Yell 'Reb' and second because it was spelled correctly...
The heroes began to lick their wounds, or at least Coach did.
The Netter Liberation Front was defeated.
* * * * *
Mr. Minister pulled the limp body of Sufferyng behind him as he reached Acton Manor. "What!? What are the LNH doing here!? I must make preparations for operations for operation triple crown!"
He then sneaked into the complex.
* * * * *
"Acton Lord! Face me NOW!" Ultimate Ninja had found Acton Lord in the main computer center. "You must PAY for your meddlings!!! I will make you pay!!"
wReamed Acton Lord turned to see Ultimate Ninja and then smiled. "So
this is it then? The duel to the death, or have you come to remove another of my nonvital organs?"
Ultimate Ninja leveled the Ginsu death blade in front of him and
prepared his stance. I will not let him excite me into doing something stupid, Ultimate Ninja recited in his brain over and over...
"Now at long last we shall see which of us is to survive!"
CRISIS OF INFINITE CLONES #3 - PART TWELVE OF THE ELECTROCUTIONER'S SONG
+====================+ +================================+ H\\\\\||||||||||/////H H The Sword of Sig in the H
H\\\|||| /\ ||||///H H Nonsense File H
H\\\\\\\ || ///////H H If I were to tell of this H
H-\\\\\ || /////-H H wondrous item now, I would H
H--\\\ || ///--H H be giving away too much of H
H---\ || /---H H the heavily-laboured plot, H
H---- || ----H H so I'll just shut up for H
H---/ || \---H H the nonce. H
H--/// \_II_/ \\\--H +================================+
H-///// () \\\\\-H
H///|||| () ||||\\\H
H/////||||||||||\\\\\H
+====================+
-----------------------------ionize here------------------------------
In the bowels of the Acton Manor in the Grey Area of the Moon, the Watchdog observed silently and invisibly as Mr. Minister labored under the weight of his incapacitated brother. Pain shot through his body with every step, but if he could only reach the CHAMBER, he could initiate Operation Triple Crown and summon the Four Jockeys of the Apocalypse to serve him.
Blood dripped slowly from his leg and left a trail down the hallway. Finally, he reached his destination. The CHAMBER. Sufferyng had found it while working for Acton Lord, and in it was the OBJECT that would give him dominion over the Jockeys. Acton Lord realized not the importance of it, by Mr. Minister knew full well what its powers were.
* * * *
"Y'know, this was easy," remarked Cliche Dude. "TOO ea<mphlrhghu!>"
"DON'T SAY IT!" shouted Rebel Yell as he muffled Cliche Dude. But it was too late. Already robot guardians were pouring out of hidden panels in the well-groomed lawns. And while the LNH had to be very careful not to damage to dome that sustained the atmosphere, the robots had no such compunction....
* * * *
Organic Lass had just finished reconnecting the various medical devices to Sig.Lad's bubbling form, and Doc Stomper was programming the PerilRoom 3000 for a sterile environment.
"What is it you plan to do?" asked Multi-Tasking Man as he set up his laptop and logged in on TinyTIM while catching up on his Proust.
"It's really very simple," began Contraption Man. Then he paused for the inevitable moans of "Yeah, right" to end. "Sig.Lad's ailment is really only a corruption and enhancement of his powers. The TechnoVirus was a dodge, meant to make us take the wrong path in trying to cure him. In reality, the Golden Age Acton Lord, who had been practicing the development of his own corrupting powers while disguised as SideWinder, nailed Sig.Lad while he was distracted by Sufferyng. Being shot again after battling Sufferyng today only exacerbated the problem. If we are to cure him, we must counteract the corrupted aspect of Sig.Lad's power."
"How do we do that?" asked Organic Lass.
"It's obvious!" exclaimed Doc Stomper. "We stabilize his mutating sig with an injection of Sig.Files! But...Sig.File Lad went to the Moon."
"That's why I brought THIS!" Contraption Man held up a little widget. "Before you ask, this is the Sig.Library of Sig.File Man (he called himself Man later in life) from our archives, encoded onto an RNA matrix. It should do the trick. Or...."
"OR WHAT?" asked everyone in unison, dreading the answer.
"...or kill him by sig.overdose. But it is the only way. Do we do it?"
Organic Lass was the first to speak. "Go for it. Don't let the fact that I'm named in his life insurance policy make you think I'm biased or anything."
"If only Lost Cause Boy were still here...do it," said M-TM.
"Obviously it's the only way to advance the plot. Go for it," replied Doctor Stomper.
"Okay, here goes EVERYTHING."
* * * *
In COMA, Electrocutioner (nee Entertainment) was getting bored with MUD wrestling. After toying with the idea of MUCK or MOO wrestling, he grew despondent. Then Memor-X spoke up.
"Er, Mr. All-Powerful Gaiman/Morrison Ripoff? May I make a suggestion?"
"Whatever. I'm being despondent," sighed Electrocutioner.
"Well, it is our power to cross over into any story when the guest stars cannot possibly make it due to prior commitments. This means we get to be in a broad spectrum of tales, and if you were to release us and watch us, you might find it, dare I say, Entertaining?"
The Finishless perked up. "Say, I like it. Kinda like my own cable access show, but 24 hours a day. Okay," he clapped his hands and got to work. "First, these transmitters. Yeah, I'm all-powerful, but this will help me get through static. Now, your old loyalties. Forget about Crossover Queen. She's history. You serve ONLY me. No nefarious plans behind my back! And for heaven's sake, try to stay in character in your crossovers...bad characterization is not entertaining, it's annoying. And the names...those gotta go if you want to ever enter racm. Let's see...I got it, you'll be the Guest Star Squadron! And Memor-X, you'll be...."
And thus it went, until eventually the X-Ove...er, Guest Star Squadron left COMA for new adventures. Coming soon to every comic near you, as every comicbook team near you.
* * * *
The computer room was a mess. Ninja Bush protruding from consoles, chairs cut in half and their nylon stuffing floating gently in the air, parts of wall corrupted into twisted mockeries of the concept 'wall', and so on.
As we go down the hallway, we see the destruction and radically revamped decor continues. And down some stairs. And down another hall. And finally we reach wRAL and Ultimate Ninja, pausing briefly in their battle.
"Will you stand still and DIE?" asked wRAL as he unleashed a blast at Ultimate Ninja.
"No," answered the Ninja as he dodged nimbly and allowed the blast to destroy the door to a cell. "Sidewinder! Run for it!" shouted UN, having maneuvered Acton Lord into blasting open the cell.
Before Acton Lord could finish kicking himself, SideWinder had already digressed from the cell into alt.sex.bondage, where Acton Lord couldn't follow (this isn't ACROPHOBE label, after all).
"Face it, Acton Lord. You cannot defeat me. I can dodge anything you throw at me, and shrug off what does clip me. You don't have the POWER to destroy me!" taunted Ultimate Ninja.
"ALRIGHT! YOU FORCED ME TO DO THIS!" shouted Acton Lord as he swelled up with unholy verdant energy. "I know the price of Absolute Power, but it's worth it to KILL YOU! Now...what's that?"
While Acton Lord had been ranting, Ultimate Ninja had pulled out a small wooden disc inscribed with a Tao. He then flipped it lazily through the air at Acton Lord.
"You forget, I am also a master of all the quasi-mystic pseudo-oriental arts of the Ninja! That is a Tao, symbol of balance. By taking on an Absolute quality, you offended the Balance."
Acton Lord blasted at the disc, but barely slowed it.
"The Balance WILL be restored. You shall be united with your opposite. Absolute power over Absolute NOTHING!"
"NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooo..........." screamed Acton Lord as the disc touched him, and he shrank to a singularity.
"Absolute power, teeny little living space," muttered Ultimate Ninja.
* * * *
"Oh, crap."
Sig.Lad had suddenly disappeared from the PerilRoom.
* * * *
Ultimate Ninja was wending his way to the surface, when he spotted the trail of blood. Curious, he followed it, until he came to a door spattered with a rather large amount of blood. He opened it cautiously, his senses ready for any sound, and glimmer to movement. He was ready for anything. Except what greeted him in the room.
Mr. Minister and Sufferyng were merged into one groteque being, and lay lifeless on the floor, clutching a strange object. Using his honed senses and training in this sort of thing, Ultimate Ninja determined that the thing was really dead, and not shamming it. But what that in the corner? A small square of cloth, with a number on it, much like worn on the side of a race horse.
Suddenly a small explosion rocked the base. This would have to keep. Ultimate Ninja quickly left for the surface, not hearing the sepulchral whickering sound as he departed....
* * * *
The LNH seemed to have the robots in hand. Their programming made them slow learners, so they were easy to trick. Obscure Trivia Lad was about to use his liquid metal form to skewer a dozen at once as they lined up in a close (and stupid) formation, when he suddenly flew apart like mercury hit with a hail of bullets. Or a deadly green powerbeam.
Everyone looked up to see Acton Lord standing on the roof. He floated down to the field of combat, freezing both sides in their tracks by enhancing the viscosity of the air to infinite levels.
"It's time this little drama comes to an end. I have finished repairing all my GIFs, thanks to the UNCOMAMZL.ZIP file my failed brother had, and have absorbed my Golden Age counterpart. I expect Ultimate Ninja will be destroying my failed brother about...now." Acton Lord grinned evilly as he felt wRAL being sucked into a singularity, never to return. "I am now the only, the TRUE Acton Lord. These plots and trials were all just a smokescreen for my true purpose, the cleansing of my files. And with Sig.Lad destroyed, my place is secure! I will...."
"Be proven WRONG, my evil twin!"
Everyone turned to face...SIG.LAD!
"But...the corrupted sig.files I planted in Contraption Man's possession shoudl have destroyed you! I FELT you cease to be! How?" asked a rather rattled Acton Lord.
"With the help of THIS!" Sig.Lad held aloft a gleaming sword. "This is the Sword of Sig!"
Acton Lord's face twisted in disgust. "Don't tell me, it's the 'focused totality of your .sig powers...."
"Nope! It's just a magical sword with an inkwell! Observer!"
Cannon Fodder had been expecting this, and had started to creep away. But before he could take two steps, Sig.Lad swept out with the Sword and wrote a clever little .sig on the back of Fodder's ice green Suicide Squid T-shirt. Cannon Fodder was so shocked that the power demonstration was non-lethal that he had a massive coronary and died. Gotta hate that power.
Sig.Lad had a look of 'oops' on his face. "Well, if everyone will tune their headsets to 'flashback,' I'll tell you how I got this.
* flashback sequence *
Sig.Lad was conscious. He looked about him, and saw a green rolling meadow, studded with small bushes. He looked down, and saw that his body was no longer mutating. But what had happened? A scream of pain from over a small hill got his attention.
He raced over the hill and as he topped it, he saw a rather dashing young man clutching a mangled right hand and cursing at a sword of some kind, that was imbedded in a SPARCstation. A group of similarly attired men surrounded him, and several rushed to his aid. An old man cackled, "Next!"
"What is this? A retelling of Camelot?" asked Sig.Lad as he came down the hill.
A young man, barely out of boyhood, replied. "Oh, another buffoon just failed to win the Sword of Change. What are you doing here? Come to try?"
"I'd like to know myself what I'm doing. I think this must be a delusion brought on by my unstable condition."
"All of life is a delusion. Just some of it better written. As long as you're not really here, why not try for the Sword?"
"You're pretty philosophical for a kid, kid. How did the Sword mangle that man's hand?"
"I'm wise beyond my years, my son," the boy grinned. "That man was too set in his ways. He couldn't adapt. He sought the Sword to change the world to HIS way. In reality, the Sword requires the wielder to change. He wouldn't accept that, and it cost him. Can you change?"
"It seems ALL I do recently. Sure, why not." Sig.Lad stepped up to the SPARCstation. He placed his hand on the pommel, which instantly became spiked. Blood spurted from his hand and he withdrew in pain.
"You must change, and control that change, Sig.Lad. If this is but a dream, you should be able to do it," urged the boy.
Sig.Lad grimaced, and willed the holes in his hand to close. Then he grasped the sword again. It coiled and tried to crush his hand, but merely flowed though and was grasped again. Sig.Lad pulled the Sword out an inch.
The pommel became flame, but Sig.Lad did not burn. Another inch. It became a viper and bit him, but he abosrbed the poison and passed it harmlessly.
Another inch. It became a data stream, but his hand became a cyberjack and took the input. Another inch. AND OUT!
Sig.Lad held the Sword up. "I can feel it in my mind! This is not the Sword of Change, it is the Sword of Sig! And I'm cured! I don't know how this is really happening, but I'm really here! And I'm CURED!"
The boy replied, "Of course, for is not Net.valon a place of healing, Sig.Lad?"
"Net.valon? And how did you know my name?"
"The same way I knew to summon you here before the corrupted sig.files were injected into you. I'm a WIZARD, kin to Sketch and TIM. That sword will change with you, and let you control the change. Never more will you be a victim of your own power. Now go forth and face evil."
"But who are youuuuu......" trailed off Sig.Lad as he was transported automagically to the Moon.
* end of flashback *
"And so I'm here. And now, Acton Lord, it's time to pay you back for all that suffering you visited on me."
Just then, Ultimate Ninja emerged from the base, and hit the brick wall of viscous air. "Oof!"
"Ah, the Ninja," sneered Acton Lord. "I note that you disposed of my subordinate for me."
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