XPost: alt.comics.lnh

Posting for the true author, the mysterious yet glamorous Subnet Mask:

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Issue #6 _______________________________________________________________________________


It was LATE NIGHT, and PHILOSOPHER LASS had been watching too much POLITICAL TV...

"Not objectively!"

PHILOSOPHER LASS hadn't EATEN or DRANK anything in the past TWELVE HOURS, and frankly NARRATOR LASS was starting to get WORRIED.

"Philosophy goes beyond the physical! But fine, I'll eat something in a moment... but for now, I need to decide who to support in the election."

PHILOSOPHER LASS furrowed her eyebrows in that way that was OBJECTIVELY CUTE.

"Ultimate Ninja has clearly got the experience, and while Lady Zed and Ms. Executor are probably kinda evil and not even focused on winning the election, imagine the lesbian tension if they did get the office together... I bet any fiction following up from it would be more shipping them then actually advancing any sort of political agenda they might have, but is the government that governs least truly the one that governs best?"

It is DRAMATICALLY REVEALED that NARRATOR LASS would DEFINITELY READ THAT.

"I would have already ruled out Only-Does-Good-Deeds-For-Pragmatic-Reasons Lass,
but you have to admit her aesthetic value is off the charts, and if aesthetics have something to do with morality, thus the recently increasing prevalence of the word 'Cringe' that essentially conflates the two concepts...."

What about SMALL-ATTENTION-SPAN-FOR-NONSENSE-LASS? ...WAIT. You're not voting for SUBNET MASK, who is our literal CREATOR? Can't she just FORCE OUR HAND and call our FREE WILL into QUESTION?

"Sassfin-lass would absolutely die if she had to handle the entire LNH. Or... wander off? And Subnet Mask is a cipher at best, since she'd always be looming offscreen in the shadows as someone agreed to what she said, or something equally mysterious(TM), so she'd be pretty useless. Also, 'It's Time To Address The Nation' isn't a good enough pun to base an entire political campaign on, and, from a purely empirical view, I don't think she technically got nominated."

PHILOSPHER LASS has made an EXCELLENT POINT... if SUBNET MASK has TOO MUCH FOCUS... someone might start HEADCANONING her as having some sort of PERSONALITY, PRESENCE, or some other DESCRIPTIVE QUALITY, ruining the MEANING of her NAME.

"Right? We already assigned her a gender, ruining just a bit of the joke right there! There's only 31 bits of the joke left!"

PHILOSOPHER LASS walks back and forth, PACING, but it LACKS THE ENERGY her pacing USUALLY DOES.

"...speaking of continuity, there's definitely a nomination system, but is there even a voting system? I feel like it was implied but not specifically stated, allowing for many possible last minute twists in the process.. mmm... so hungry... finding it... increasingly hard to focus...."

NARRATOR LASS votes that PHILOSPHER LASS should maybe EAT THESE CHIPS and DRINK THIS GLASS OF WATER while her trustworthy sidekick ORDERS US SOME PIZZA.

"...wait... are you... are you my sidekick!? I thought we were roommates!"

--- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05
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