XPost: alt.tv.mst3k, alt.fan.mst3k

[Illustration: 4 Making Somebody Happy]

CROW: [ Singing as Jimmy Durante ] Make just one, somebody happy ...

Chapter 4

TOM: A New Hope.

Making Somebody Happy

JOEL: Through recreational hypnosis.

Well, that very evening Jimmy Rabbit made a certain
young neighbor very happy by hanging a May basket on her
door.

TOM: [ As Mr Mink ] That's *my* door!

And then he hurried along to Henry Skunk's house.

CROW: He had to ask Henry Skunk where he kept his door.

He
hoped Henry was still there; for when Henry Skunk went out of
an evening he seldom came home until morning.

JOEL: You wouldn't think they'd need someone working last shift what with it being 1916 or whatever.

Jimmy hung the basket of eggs on the doorknob, rang
the bell, and then ran and hid behind a tree. He peeped out,

CROW: Peep!
TOM: Peep peep!
JOEL: One more peep out of you ...

as he heard the door open; and he saw Henry Skunk look all
around.

CROW: Peep!

He seemed angry,

TOM: We're animals! Why do we even *have* doorbells?

until he caught sight of the basket.
And then Henry Skunk certainly was pleased.

JOEL: [ As Henry Skunk ] Now how does a basket ring a doorbell?

"Ah, ha!" he exclaimed. "A May basket! Now, I wonder

CROW: Isn't it November?

what friend of mine has left this for me!" He looked inside
the basket. "Ah, ha! Hens' eggs!" he cried.

TOM: Finally, a break from all these cow's eggs I've had to choke down!

"I'll sit down on
my front steps and eat them. Then I won't have to give
anybody else a taste."

CROW: I'll keep them to myself by eating them where everyone can see!

That was like Henry Skunk.

TOM: Indeed, it was *so* like Henry Skunk that it *was* Henry Skunk.

He was a selfish
fellow--always greedy, never offering to share a dainty with
anyone.

JOEL: Are eggs dainty?
TOM: Fussy Eggs are.

Jimmy Rabbit was holding his mouth. He knew that if
he laughed he would spoil everything.

CROW: Well, not the eggs.

As he listened, he
heard a _snap_!

TOM: Eggs stay crispy in milk!

And Henry Skunk said "Oh!" as if something
hurt him, and surprised him, both. "I declare, I've broken a
tooth!" he exclaimed.

CROW: I declare, I've broken a tooth.

"That's the hardest egg I ever saw.

JOEL: Eh, I saw one harder.

I'll try another." And he took another egg out of the basket.

TOM: Must have been boiled in hard water.

There was another _snap_! This time Henry cried "Ow!"
It was queer, to break two teeth like that.

CROW: He takes breaking a tooth better than I take backing up into the kitchen counter.

And he reached
into the basket for the third egg. "It certainly can't happen
again," Henry told himself.

JOEL: Henry figures if experience was such a great teacher he'd have learned something from it.

And he bit the third egg with all
his might.

TOM: I'm still back here thinking about chewing through an egg shell. [ Shudders ] Ew.

How it hurt him! He fairly howled with pain.

CROW: If only there were some way he could have seen this coming!

And then Jimmy Rabbit snickered. He could hold in his
laughter no longer.

JOEL: [ As Jimmy ] I ruin people's mouths for life! Ha ha!

That was enough for Henry Skunk. He looked around
quickly.

CROW: [ As Henry ] How could someone see me on my porch? Also how do I have a porch?

And what he saw made him very angry. For he knew
then that those eggs were nothing but a joke.

TOM: Not so much a funny ha-ha kind of joke as a malicious mayhem kind of joke but still, a joke.

Now, when he tittered, Jimmy Rabbit had jumped back
behind the tree round which he had been peeping.

CROW: Peep.

He thought
that he was safely out of sight. But he had forgotten all
about his ears.

TOM: Mr Mink wants his ears back, too.

They were so long, and they stuck out so far,
that Henry Skunk could see them. And he knew right away who
had played that trick on him.

JOEL: [ As Henry ] It's that Dennis the Menace kid! And this time he's gone too far!

He did not think it was any joke, to break three
teeth.

CROW: Sure, but it really helps Billy Flying Squirrel, the dentist.

And he began to creep toward those ears. But there was
one thing that Henry Skunk had not noticed.

TOM: Hey, a wheat penny! Like all the pennies they make today in 1916!

He had not looked
up in the branches above Jimmy Rabbit's head. If he had, he
would have seen

CROW: *Other* Jimmy Rabbit!

Frisky Squirrel, who had come along to see
the fun.

JOEL: Frisky's glad he stuck around for all three broken teeth. Just one or two and he wouldn't have gotten it.

As soon as Frisky saw what was happening, he cried:

TOM: [ As Frisky ] Thompson is in trouble, Charlie Brown!

"Look out, Jimmy!"

CROW: [ As Jimmy ] I don't see Jimmy!

And Jimmy Rabbit looked out just in time. The smile
faded from his face. And he turned and ran.

JOEL: [ Singing 'Three Little Fishes' ] And he ran and he ran right over the dam!

Henry Skunk did not chase him. He was no runner.

TOM: He figured to appear in only one sequence, but we'll be the judge of that.

But
he hoped that some day he could catch _both_ those meddlesome
youngsters.

CROW: And their pesky dog too!

[Illustration: Jimmy Rabbit delivers his May basket]

JOEL: Illustrator was a bit asleep on the job there.

"Well, what did I tell you?" Jimmy Rabbit said, when
Frisky joined him at a good, safe distance from Henry Skunk's
house. "Didn't I say there'd be some fun?"

TOM: No, you just cackled that when Henry saw the eggs he'd break them.

"But I don't understand what happened," Frisky said.
"I thought Henry Skunk _liked_ hens' eggs."

CROW: Ah, you overlooked that while he likes eggs Henry Skunk dislikes being disfigured!

"So he does!" Jimmy Rabbit answered.

TOM: Case closed.

"But those were
not real hens' eggs. They were china eggs which I found in
Farmer Green's henhouse.

JOEL: [ As Frisky ] Why is Farmer Green's henhouse in China?
CROW: [ As Jimmy ] No, no, it's not the henhouse that's ...

And they were almost as hard as
stones."

TOM: Why would you keep china eggs in a henhouse?
CROW: What, hens can't have nicknacks? Next you'll tell me the cows can't have their thimble collection.

Frisky Squirrel laughed.

JOEL: [ As Frisky ] I thought it was just a wild coincidence he broke three teeth on weirdly hard eggs in a row but now I understand!

"I wish we had some more," he said.

TOM: [ As Frisky ] I'm hungry for eggs too!
CROW: [ As Jimmy ] No, no, see, the eggs are ...

"Then we could
hang a May basket on Fatty Raccoon's door....

JOEL: Oh, I don't think you should mess with Fatty and food.

I don't suppose
you'd care to go back to Henry's house and get those eggs?"

"I don't suppose I would," said Jimmy Rabbit.

CROW: Why not? Is he still using them?
TOM: Maybe he needs to darn some socks?

[ End of Chapter 4 ]

--
Joseph Nebus
Math Blog: https://nebusresearch.wordpress.com
Humor Blog: https://nebushumor.wordpress.com --------------------------------------------------------+---------------------

--- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05
* Origin: fsxNet Usenet Gateway (21:1/5)