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IV

TOM: Chapter One, Part Two, Part Two, Part Two.

HUNTING A HOLE

JOEL: Where the rain gets in ...
CROW: You said that.

Usually Grumpy Weasel did not stray far from a
certain corner of Farmer Green's wood lot.

TOM: How much wood does Farmer Green have?
JOEL: A lot?

He preferred to
hunt where he knew the lay of the land.

CROW: Pretty sure it just hangs out on top of the bedrock underneath?

And since he liked
especially to hunt along old stone walls,

JOEL: Those *new* stone walls aren't good for anything.

he picked out a
long stretch of old tumble-down wall that reached through the
woods towards Blue Mountain.

TOM: Now why would you build a wall to keep the mountains out?
CROW: West Virginia didn't and look what happened to them.

He picked it out as his very own hunting ground and
never asked permission of Farmer Green, either.

JOEL: Grumpy Weasel fighting back against the Man.

Now, near the lower end of this wall---the end toward
the pasture---

TOM: Don't mistake which end is toward the pasture, it *will* be on the final exam!

a fat person known as Mr. Meadow Mouse
sometimes wandered.

CROW: Mr Meadow Mouse sleeps in the park, shaves in the dark ---
JOEL: We did that too.
CROW: Why is every name doing this to us?

But he never visited that spot without
first inquiring whether Grumpy Weasel had been there the day
before.

TOM: Why wait a day between asking and going to the place?

Mr. Meadow Mouse had learned somehow that Grumpy
usually moved on each day to a different part of his hunting
ground.

CROW: I'm going to guess he walked, maybe ran to other places?
TOM: Maybe he has a Weaselmobile? Or a tiny helicopter?
JOEL: A series of weasel-bearing trampolines scattered across the yard.

He was surprised, therefore, to meet Grumpy Weasel
face to face one time, when he felt sure that that surly
rogue must be a good safe distance away.

CROW: At the tavern, trying to get the bard to stop picking fights with farmers.

Mr. Meadow Mouse cast a quick glance around. But he
could see no place to hide.

TOM: The hiding place was hidden?
JOEL: It does one thing and it does it well.

So there was nothing for him to
do but to put on a bold front. He bowed pleasantly enough,

CROW: Everything else has failed, so let's try courtesy!

though he was trembling a little, and remarked that it was a
fine day

JOEL: 35 dollars and two points on his license.

and that he hoped Grumpy was feeling happy---all of
which was quite true.

CROW: Yes, it is truly quite.

Grumpy Weasel glowered at Mr. Meadow Mouse, for that
was his way of replying to a kindly greeting.

TOM: Ugh, don't talk to me before I've had my morning mouse.
CROW: Arthur Morning Mouse, last seen in The Tale Of Solomon Owl.

"You've not come here to hunt, I hope," he growled.

JOEL: 'Cause you're not wearing orange, I'll have to ticket you.

"I'll have you know that this is my private hunting ground
and I allow no poaching."

TOM: How do you feel about scrambling or omelette-making?

Mr. Meadow Mouse hastened to explain that he was
merely out for a stroll.

CROW: [ As Meadow Mouse ] Look, there's one now! [ CROW leans out of frame, going 'Whoosh!'. ]

"I never hunt," he declared. "Of course,

JOEL: 'Course, I am hunting for an easier way of life, but aren't we all? Hah ? Ha ha? Ha? ... Uh ... '

if I happen
to see a tiny seed I may stop to eat it. But that's all."

TOM: Got him on a technicality, that's grazing, not hunting.

"You'd better be careful what you say!" Grumpy Weasel
snapped.

CROW: You don't want to accidentally say something like 'Flord digorznip flompty hoopnay', since that's nonsense.

"Unless I'm mistaken, you were hunting something the
moment you saw me. You were hunting a hole."

JOEL: Oh, you can't get a hole this time of year, they're all hibernating.

Mr. Meadow Mouse gasped slightly. He hardly knew what
to say.

CROW: 'I wasn't hunting *a* hole, I'd take *any* hole.'

"Be very careful where you go around here!" Grumpy
Weasel warned him. "The holes in this stone wall are all
mine.

TOM: The stone wall itself is the Monolith aliens', so, attempt no landings there.

I shouldn't want you to use a single one of them
without my permission."

CROW: [ As Meadow Mouse ] 'Oh, I'm okay in all the others, though?'

Mr. Meadow Mouse assured him that he wouldn't dream
of trespassing.

TOM: No trepanning, now, that just makes more holes for Grumpy Weasel.

"And these holes among the roots of the trees---they
are mine too," Grumpy Weasel snarled.

JOEL: Well now Grumpy sounds like he's aggrandizing.
CROW: Yeah, some of those holes are historically part of the Badger-Mink Commonwealth's.

"Oh, certainly! Certainly!" Mr. Meadow Mouse cried.

JOEL: Maybe!
TOM: I guess?

He was so quick to agree that for once Grumpy Weasel couldn't
think of anything more to find fault about.

CROW: [ As Grumpy ] 'Give me a minute, I just woke up.'

"I'll let you crawl into a few of the smaller holes
in the stone wall, if you'll be careful not to hurt them," he
offered grudgingly.

TOM: How do you hurt a hole?
JOEL: Same way you hurt anyone, run roughshod over its fillings.

Mr. Meadow Mouse made haste to thank him.

CROW: [ As Grumpy ] 'Oh, oh, I can't have haste anymore. Too much sugar too close to bed.'

He said, however, that he thought he would wait till
some other time.

TOM: That's the sort of thing it's easy to say when you're in 1915.

"There's no time like the present," Grumpy Weasel
grumbled.

CROW: That thought is the only thing that's kept me going lately.

"To tell the truth, I want to see if you can
squeeze through as small a hole as I can."

JOEL: [ As Meadow Mouse ] 'Mr Weasel are you hitting on me?'



--
Joseph Nebus
Math Blog: https://nebusresearch.wordpress.com
Humor Blog: https://nebushumor.wordpress.com --------------------------------------------------------+---------------------

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