XPost: rec.arts.tv
[email protected] wrote:
The snARK S01E05 “One step forward, two steps back”
I’d like to point out at this time that that’s how they actually seem to be
writing the episode title, without any capitals, except for the first
letter.
Even though there are supposedly going to be 12 episodes, this is the last >one Ian lists on IMDb and his Wikipedia article only has one more and has
no information on it other than the title “Two by two“
My DVR says episode six is about them finding a planet. Between Earth and >Alpha Centauri. And of course it’s rich in the fuel they need to get back >up to near lightspeed. We are officially in Space: 1999 territory now
folks. And second season at that.
This week, Lane, the man who wants to be captain, but shouldn’t, illegally >accesses the doctors computer to find out that Garnet is an illegal clone.
To their credit, instead of dragging this out over the one remaining
episode, he instantly blabs to the ruling council, who tell him to shut up. >They give differing and contradictory information about why clones are >illegal. (Garnet says that she is a first generation clone, which makes her >no different than an in vitro baby. That makes it rather inexplicable that >medical tests can prove she’s a clone and that warnings have to be put in >her file. She also says that the problem with clones is making clones of >clones. I have no idea why you’d do that. besides which she’s a robot >anyway.) In the end they leave Garnet in command and she tells Lane he
needs to see Blondie burn bear until he’s free of his clone hatred and then >he can be her second in command. I liked it better a minute earlier when
she was talking about throwing him out the airlock.
The next order of business is that they have to get the Ark up to near >lightspeed NOW NOW NOW! Because at the speed they are going it will take 10 >years to get there. Which means they’re going at 10th the speed of light >which is pretty damn fast. I have no idea what the hurry is or why it’s >worth risking burning out their engine and all dying horribly in the >completely empty void between systems. If they fix the engine a week from >now, it will take a year and a week to get there. So why not just fix the >engine safely? They act like there are two choices. Leave now and take a
year or leave later and take 10 years. And that’s obviously not how it >works. That’s not how any of it works.
Blondie burn bear tells the Serbian cyborg security guy that she thinks Eva >is the killer. Since Eva is the only one who can fix the engines or the
water reclamation plant I suggest we just forget about this and get on with >our lives.
The Ark continues to race the wrong direction at 1/10 the speed of light.
Serbian cyborg security guy waits in the airlock and accuses Eva of murder! >She closes the airlock door and dumps the air saying that this is how she >would have killed somebody because explosive decompression looks exactly
like a heart attack.
Suddenly the reactor core explodes! Green glowing radioactive goo kills the >main, and by that I mean only, engineer!
Why was there not some kind of alarm triggered on the bridge when the green goo in the Universe's
Saddest Excuse for a Containment System exploded? We don't find out that there's a RADIATION LEAK
until Brice notices things are a little slow and he and Garnet do some troubleshooting and then
Garnet looks up the Excel spreadsheet with the daily assignments on them and they play phone tag
up the command chain until Eva gets to jog through the ship to find him.
The way this is filmed, there's like an hour or two between each step of this CRISIS.
SecurityFelix clears Eva when the leak starts, hacks the email, tracks down Ali, "arrests her",
learns the identity of the real emailer, explains the situation to Garnet, interrogates Trent and
THEN the leak turns critical?
HowTF did they scrub the ship if they didn't even have a radiation suit that can withstand that
type of radiation (Why have a radiation suit that can't handle the type of radiation inherent in
the ship's system in the first place?)
This "balance" ideology from Trent sounds coocoo-cocoa-puffs: Everyone having a place? Yeah,
that's never a good philosophy.
BSG Memorial Personnel Count: 126 (+2 sekrit peepl!)
-1: First radiation dude (Ralph Gregor)
-2: Trapped by doors behind TitsOut and Tripping Guy (at least)
-3: Crushed in door
-8: Trent encounters dead in corridors during his run
-1: Trent MommyIssues
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